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A Secret for the Guys

Every day we hear from men who desperately want help and encouragement for their wives. Most commonly, they complain that their wives are not interested in sexual intimacy. Many of these messages end with pleas like “Help me! What can I do to help her understand my needs?” While most of my work is with women, today I want to share a secret with the men. It is the same secret that...

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Your Sexual Differences Can Make You Better Lovers

Have you ever wondered why God made you and your husband so different? For many years, I thought that might be my first question to God when I got to heaven. The differences between me and my husband, particularly in the bedroom, were driving us both crazy. Sexual intimacy created more conflict in our marriage than unity and more pain than pleasure. It seemed like a cruel joke or a gift that we...

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Is There Really a 7-Year Itch?

My husband and I are leading a Bible study with mostly newlywed couples. After a few weeks, we noticed how often we referred to the seven-year-something . . . itch? pit? slump? The other couples in the group started nervously teasing about what terrible blockade may lay in their marriage journey. Is the seven-year-itch a real thing? If so, are you doomed to bump into it? And why does it happ...

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When Your Child Has Been Sexually Abused

The headlines are filled with horrific accounts of childhood sexual abuse. Behind every headline are children and their parents, families grasping for help and hope through devastating news. We have received many emails from parents who recently discovered that their children have been sexually violated. While we grieve with you, we also want to equip you. Sexual abuse should never happen! Whil...

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Manhood on a Razor's Edge

Last week, I spent $44 at Costco on Gillette razor blades for my husband. When I heard Gillette had just released a controversial video on toxic manhood, I wondered if I would regret my purchase. Having just watched the Gillette commercial, I couldn’t be more encouraged. I understand that some view it as a criticism of masculinity, but I see it as an invitation to reclaim the valor and va...

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R. Kelly and a Reminder of Evil

As we jump into 2019, we are unfortunately familiar with tragic headlines. Checking your Twitter feed or listening to the day’s news will almost certainly involve learning something that makes your heart sink. Today is no exception as our news feeds are filled with reactions to R. Kelly’s horrific acts of sexual abuse. Because stories like this one are becoming tragically commonp...

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Your Husband Needs You Too

I vividly remember life as it was about 15 years ago. A newborn, a 4-year-old and a 6-year-old, all boys. Most mornings, I woke up to someone crying or pleading for breakfast. From the time my feet hit the ground until I went to bed, someone needed me. I was acutely aware of the demands of my three sons. Without me, they would have no clothes, food, comfort or safety. My days were preoccupied w...

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Have You Forgotten Who God Is?

In the process of teaching about biblical sexuality, I have at times taken a critical look at traditions Christians have long held as truth. For example, you may have heard a recent Java with Juli episode exploring the missteps and harmful messages of the conservative Christian purity movement of the 1990s. I have also spoken into controversial topics including LGBT issues, mommy porn and cohab...

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I Don't Trust Myself

A few days ago, I rushed to see Toni (the lady who cuts my hair) in the middle of the work day. I got there with just a few minutes to spare after getting off a conference call. Someone else was sitting in Toni’s chair. “I’ll just wait in the lobby until you’re done,” I told Toni. In response, she said, “You’re not supposed to be here today. I have you ...

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Pure Sadness and a Better Way Forward

I recently read a very sad book, Pure by Linda Kay Klein. This book keeps popping up in my newsfeed which tells me that people want to talk about it. The subtitle of the book hits precisely why this book caused my heart to ache: “Inside the evangelical movement that shamed a generation of young women and how I broke free.” Within the book, the author shares her journey of shame, ...

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